Brian Cook profile

Runner's Profile: Brian Cook
By Joe Howell

This month our Runner’s Profile features Brian Cook. If he does not look familiar, here are a couple of descriptions that may jog your memory. Over the last several years, remember the guy running in group 2 at the SBCC track workout wearing shorts that were so baggy they looked like Shaq hand-me downs? Have you spent any quality time this summer in the Nite Moves beer jail (called a beer garden by the uninformed)? If so, you undoubtedly have seen Brian Cook. Weekly inmates at the beer jail refer to Brian as "Chief Warden," a title that is well deserved.

When preparing a Runner’s Profile column, I typically ask the athlete to provide some running/racing stats and details about his or her athletic endeavors. I won’t name names, but some of you previously featured runners have provided me with a truly frightening amount of personal running information. (Would you believe high school 1⁄4 mile training splits and similar minutiae for a 40+ year old runner?). As you will note in reading Brian's Profile, this guy has provided a remarkable level of detail, but all is under the "Worst Race and Why" category. Based on a quick consideration of this column for the last 10+ years, I would nominate Brian’s quote from the kid at Ironman Canada to be among the best.

Brian fails to comment on what some consider to be his greatest talent- trash talking. A friend we’ll call "Mr. X," a fellow beach life guard with Brian, noted that on those occasions when Mr. X knew he would be pulling guard duty with Brian, Mr. X always prepared not one but at least three or four good comeback lines, waiting for the words to start flying. Despite the preparation, Brian always seemed to dominate Mr. X and all others in the never-ending guard trash talk competition (and trust me, it continues). If you don’t believe me and think you are up to the challenge, when you next see him competing or holding court in the Nite Moves beer jail, try something like "Yo Cookie, so what’s up with your bonking problem?", followed by a detailed review of your prior two weeks of training, next your best excuse for your last bad race (traits he fails to appreciate per his Profile)…. then get ready to rumble (verbally that is).

Name: Brian Cook
Age: 35
Nicknames: people usually just use my last name but a few use Cook-a-lee, Crash, or Cookie
Hometown: Fairfax, VA
Favorite Food: Burritos
Favorite Movie: Old School
Employment: Environmental Planner
Family: wife, Delia and dog, Nala

Other sports, hobbies, interests, etc.: swimming, cycling (road and mountain), and screaming at athletes on TV
My friends describe me as: They usually just shake their head and laugh. I've been told that I'm too honest, I think "brutally" was the word used, and that I can be too critical.
My trademark expression is: Bitches!
If money were not a consideration: I would develop a compound in every state for all of the unwanted animals on death row (then put down because they don't have a home).
In the next 5 years, I hope to: be Mr. Mom and hire a gardener
In the next 10 years, I hope to: be Mr. Mom and work part-time from home, hire a gardener and someone to help with the cleaning (I hate yard work and chores).

Accomplishments: I don't know if I've accomplished anything worth mentioning regarding running. I did win a typing contest in 10th grade.
Favorite Distance and PR (post collegiate): Anything that is short, doesn't require water or calories, and that I do well in. I was pleased with last year's State Street Mile time (4:37); you've got to love the downhill mile because I'm not sure if I could ever run that on the track.
Best Race and Why: I'm still trying to put together my best race.
Worst Race and Why: It's more like worst races. To name a few, the two Ironman (IM) races and every Wildflower Triathlon (4). It makes no sense that I have done races that require nutrition (3+ hours) when I have trouble eating and drinking under race conditions. IM Florida, I was puking at mile 56 on the bike and couldn't keep anything down for the remaining 7 hours. IM Canada, I spent 15 minutes in a port-a-potty at mile 56 on the bike and then spent another 10 minutes in another port-a-potty at mile one of the run. The only funny thing about the second stop was the little boy who was banging on the door, yelling "sir, sir, you've got to get out of there. There's a race going on and you're sitting on the pot." Of the four half-IM distance triathlons done at Wildflower, 2 have resulted in DNFs (one crash, one choice to stop and sit in the lake) and two have resulted in me walking.
Average Weekly Mileage (last 12 months): 25-40
Favorite Local Race: Every local race (because it's local): Santa Barbara County Triathlon. It was the first triathlon I did and it got me hooked on running, swimming and cycling.
Most Memorable Running Experience: Running with my dog on the beach at sunset. I know it sounds corny but seeing the look in her eyes as she's chasing birds in and out of the water, the sun going down, and the warm tailwind on the way home is unforgettable. Of course, watching her limp home and then having to carry her to bed is also unforgettable.

Favorite Place to Run: It was the Wilcox Property until the City Council forgot that they were working for the majority and eventually caved to certain individuals with hidden agendas. The green plastic fencing really adds to the beauty of the area. I do enjoy running on the Beach (anywhere between Ledbetter and More Mesa)
Glory Days PR: My Glory Days have nothing to do with running so I don't have a "glory days" PR. I did have some college lacrosse glory days, but since this isn't for sblacrosse.org I won't bore you.
Realistic Running Goals for this Year: To run an even paced race, not going out too hard and having something left for the finish (maybe this one should be under wildly optimistic).
Wildly Optimistic Running Goals for this year: I'd like to get faster with less training.
Lifetime Running Goals: To be able to run throughout my lifetime.

Local Running Heroes & Why: Hero is a word that should be used only for those who put themselves in harms way with disregard for there own life in an effort help others. I do admire this white-haired (just being descriptive for you PC police) older couple who run up and down Shoreline early in the AM. They must be 70+ and they're always running together (she's usually one step ahead). Anyone know how long they have been running together? I hope that my wife and I can still run together into our golden years.
Personal Training Tips: Save the race efforts for racing. No one cares who wins during training.
Why I Run: I run because it's fun and it keeps the weight off.
I love runners who: can keep their sense of humor when the pace gets uncomfortable and who are humble
I don't care for runners who: feel the need to discuss their splits and training regimen at nauseam

Suggestions for local races: How about some cross country/trail races that are less than 35 miles?
Suggestions for SBAA: Liven up the uniform with SBAA decorative Gail Dever's clip on nails.
My views on: Excuses. Don't make any. If you're not happy with your results, then say you're not happy but don't use an excuse on why you didn't run as fast or meet your goal time. If you're looking for excuses to use go to any triathlon. Triathletes will usually give the excuses before the race and then fulfill the prophecy. You'll get to hear it twice.

Add Anything: If you have to volunteer your race results then it's not worth talking about. Only if someone asks do they care.
Favorite Quote: It's better to remain silent and thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
SBAA Member since: 2002